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2004/09/30
politics + booze = awesome!
The Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game
By David Martin
Published in the Chicago Tribune
September 29, 2004
Let's face it. The presidential debates are a nuisance (note from nora: i disagree with this). But for whatever reason, most television networks feel obliged to carry them.
So stop your whining and make the best of a bad situation with the Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game. All you have to do is line up your favorite beverage and pick a candidate. Then let the game begin:
- Every time President Bush says the word "safer," take a drink. If he uses the word "democracy" in the same sentence, make it a double.
- For every John Kerry reference to the UN, have a drink.
- If Bush uses the phrase "compassionate conservative," you must chug your entire beverage.
- Take one drink for every three times Kerry points with his left hand.
- Any previously recorded Bushism, like "misunderestimate" or "subliminable," used by the president during the debate requires one drink.
- If Kerry exceeds the time limit for any response, take a drink.
- Back-to-back offenses require a double shot and a NoDoz.
A reference by your candidate to any of the following requires one drink:
1) Florida
2) North Korea
3) Axis of evil
4) Saddam Hussein
5) The American people
- And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word "Vietnam," everybody has to take a drink.
In this game, everyone's a winner. At worst, you'll reach the end of the debate experiencing a warm, pleasant buzz. But if you're really lucky, you'll pass out by 10 o'clock and won't have to listen to the closing statements. Cheers!
posted by n. @ 9/30/2004
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